Good morning hopeless millennials, and welcome to Career Development With a Twist, the only career development service which “Wow”s its own photos.
In our previous segment, we discussed how to hide inexperience to gain access to entry-level jobs. However, it turns out that in some cases*, a lack of experience and expertise can actually work to your advantage in a securing position that you are seriously unprepared for. Here are some sample lines for a cover letter, to help you spin your severe lack of qualification as a cool and exciting “outsider status:”
- “Unlike doctors within the medical establishment, I can relate to the average patient–in that neither of us has been to medical school or knows what a spleen actually does.”
- “With America’s test scores still lagging behind, it’s clear that professional educators are failing us. What we need is someone from the world of poultry production who’s ready to run a classroom like a factory farm.”
- “It’s no secret that NYC architecture firms are biased towards architects who believe in the theory of gravity. It’s time to shake things up by hiring someone who doesn’t.”
- “Do I know all those weird pig-Latin-y wordjumbles? No. A good lawyer needs no more words than the ones he can make up himself.”
- “Anyone can take the time to learn air traffic protocols and standard landing procedures, but what you really need is a pilot who doesn’t need to play by the rules.”
- “America needs a president that–” oh sorry, too real.
*Disclaimer: results may vary, based on factors including but not limited to gender, race, socioeconomic class.