10 Arbitrarily Provocative Opinions (That Deserve Equal Media Coverage)

Just exercising my freedom of speech super hard as part of the 30 Days to Totally Ripped Freedoms program! Mainstream media: unless you believe in censorship, I expect that these beliefs will be given equal space and consideration as any competing theory.

  1. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried my ravioli–literally. Legal rights of personhood should only be extended to those who have already consumed my ravioli.
  2. People with unattached earlobes are intellectually and morally inferior to people with attached earlobes.
  3. It should be a punishable offense for gay men to become uncles.
  4. No one should be allowed to graduate college without being able to roll their tongue.
  5. Daylight savings time should go the other way.
  6. Fireworks were actually invented by the Welsh in the 1950s.
  7. Employers should make all hiring decisions on the basis of alphabetical order.
  8. Extramarital sex is the only morally permissible type of sex.
  9. Pig ownership should be for everyone.
  10. Young children should not be exposed to pants.

Remember, all opinions are created equal! #Balance



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