Monetizing the Man-bunhead

The great and controversial man-bun: with the increasing number of guys rocking the ‘do, it has also drawn a strangely passionate camp of critics. So let’s just take a moment to reflect on the full power and potential of the style.

Interestingly, most of the scathing anti-man-bun manifestos (manbunifestos?) come from men, though they often mention that women find the look unattractive as evidence that buns are insufficiently (hetero)sexy and masculine (two apparent prerequisites for existing). To which I just have to respond #NotAllWomen.

Beyond aesthetic appeal, there’s also a feminist case to be made for the man-bun. In a fashion scene (and world) which typically accepts masculine as the default–“androgynous” fashion is mostly limited to women in suits–it’s refreshing to see a traditionally female style as the standard for a cross-gender trend.

There is the question of why we can’t just call it a bun, since it looks like, acts like, and well . . . is one. At first glance, the name “man-bun” seems to fall into the same category as pointlessly gendered items like “lady hammers,” girls’ and boys’ pickles, and “bronuts.”

But let’s focus on what’s really important here: money. “Pointlessly gendered” is kind of a misnomer, since products are usually gendered for the very deliberate point of selling you stuff. Like dude, before you get caught wiping your nose with your wife’s girly generic tissues, you better buy your own box of mansize Kleenex. And while a real man typically wouldn’t be caught dead buying yogurt, you can’t turn down this Powerful Yogurt which can “find your inner abs.” And ladies, even though all these razors work the same, we know you’ll pay extra for the women’s blades.

Unfortunately, the man-bun lacks this potential for commercial exploitation, given that it doesn’t cost anything to tie up your hair.

…until dance accessories suppliers come in, that is.

While man-buns have typically taken on a casual, semi-sloppy aesthetic, a little marketing push is all it takes to create a new class of man-bunheads striving to make the perfect man-bun with no wispies or flyaway strands.

Like their tweenage trina counterparts, they’re gonna need some extra-sturdy bobby pins and hairnets.

For men who feel that their buns are not quite voluminous enough, there’s the man-bun doughnut (or bronut?)

Not to mention all the additional accessories to personalize the look.

Even better.

But will they learn to crochet these things like we did?

So let’s cash in on this quick before the man braid takes over.