Other People’s Words

Do you ever feel like real life gives sitcom writers some serious competition? Some things I’ve overheard in the past week:

In my dorm lobby:
Guy 1: Do you know when Halloween is this year?
Guy 2: Dude, it’s just the same day every year.
Guy 1: Naw, I would have noticed that by now.

The people eating next to me:
Guy: so I’ve seen you around a lot. Tell me a little about yourself.
Girl: let me recite a poem for you.
*Begins to whisper a sonnet*

Lobby:
Guy 1: So you’re like 75% straight?
Guy 2: Woah, too many significant figures.
Guy 1: 80?

Not that living people have a monopoly on “didn’t expect to hear that there” moments. From Saint Augustine’s City of God:

“Such people can do some things with their body which are for others utterly impossible and well-nigh incredible when they are reported. Some people can even move their ears, either one at a time or both together. Others without moving the head can bring the whole scalp – all the part covered with hair – down towards the forehead and bring it back again at will . . .  A number of people produce at will such musical sounds from their behind (without any stink) that they seem to be singing from that region” (14.24).

I guess this is what they meant by liberal arts education . . .

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