Still (aka Nadia attempts poetry)

Still

When I had to kill the movement

Strangled it with every muscle

Its ghost still haunting me

With little waves in my ribcage

Rogue percussion in my chest

Delinquent thoughts running through my veins

Quivers in my eyeballs

 

Not dead forever

But for now, and still now

Not still forever

But still now, and now still

 

For 16 more seconds

Hold

Hold still

Hold on still

Hold on to still

 

Be still my beating–

Clock with a hand on the verge of a tick

Do I still even want what I’m waiting for?

 

Go

————————————

If you’re wondering what has inspired my poetic explorations, one of my ballet teachers asked us all to write a poem. Also, I’m procrastinating on a research paper. This is sort of about a section in a dance I’m in where we run in and then attempt to stand perfectly still for much longer than I would like. But it’s also just about stillness in general. Stillness is hard. It’s dead. It’s alive. It sucks. Sometimes we really need it.

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